For more than 4 years I have not had a television.  When I left London to move back to the USA, I simply didn't buy one. Then I found I didn't miss it. And so the years have passed with me remaining unconnected from the  grid. 

What is interesting is that, despite not having a television, I have not missed a single major event in the world.  Three of those events are on my mind today -- the riots in London, the tragedy in Norway, and the blackout in my house last night.  (Yes, the one that took out huge tracts of Arizona, Mexico and Southern California).    

I think they all raise the same question for us as human beings.  How do we be with the fact that bad things happen in life?     

An inescapable fact of human-ness is that stuff happens that is out of our control.    

September 8th our power went down in Southern California and many people were stranded and in difficulty.  In London people were horrified to watch their city spiral into chaos.  Shocked Norwegians and a rising death toll left a wake of mourning families and resuscitated our own memories  of 9/11.  

Life simply refuses to stop challenging us. I don't believe that the answer is to resort to rage or numbness. I also don't think we can escape by avoidance.  And that is certainly not what I'm trying to do by not having a TV!  I want to be fully, intimately engaged in all of life, especially my own.

There is a terrible effect on our individual lives if we don't come to terms with what we don't control.

I notice that very often we end up limiting our responsiveness and dampening our humanity because we assume that trying to understand something is the same thing as condoning it.  But that leaves us even less able to deal with our own lives and be happy.  

On the radio show on this topic ("Bad News and Unwanted Events") I explored this more and talked about how to make sense of life and how to be with life in all it's aspects while still getting up in the morning and going on with having a good day.  

As outside events happen you'll notice that individual responses to those events seems to vary considerably from one person to the next.  This is true no matter how catastrophic the event.  Some people recover quickly, some slowly, some are consumed with grief, some move on, some experience stress and immobilization while others experience a compulsion to help.

The fact that there is never any universal response to anything, tells us not only that people are different, but that the individual feeling of one's own life is specific and unique to them -- no matter what events have been a part of it.  When I began to see more clearly that the game of life was being played inside me first and foremost, I began to feel less buffeted by the news of the world and much clearer about how I wanted to help.

As a result I am also more compassionate with everyone else in their own individual experiences and choices.  It doesn't mean I like everything that happens, but it does mean I have a better understanding of how we all work as humans and how it is that tragic things can happen. That keeps me calm enough to be of use to others in tough times.

If you work supporting others through addictions, crisis and difficulty, and want to have real impact without burning out yourself --  it's possible to raise your own level of functioning so you can be of more use to everyone in your world -- my circle for difference makers. 
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When I got Lynne Klippel's book, Overcomers Inc., in the post, I have to say my initial reaction was I liked the book, hated the word.  Overcomers.  I don't want to be an overcomer.  I want to sail effortlessly through life and have everything be easy.  Overcoming is such a dull, pedestrian task.  Maybe, "Go Climb That Mountain!" just make you tingle with inspiration, but it makes me want to climb back into bed. 

I read the book and the true life stories in it, and although I still don't like to think of myself as an overcomer, I have to admit that I am.  We all are.  If you got through asking someone on a first date, or wearing really high heels for the first time, you are one too. 

And that's not a dull thing at all.

In fact, there are some pretty hefty qualities that we need to be able to call on when the going gets tough.  Here's what I think those are:

Taking responsibility
Surrendering
Trust
Willingness

In every real life experience in that book, as well as in my own life and the lives of people I coach, these are the core of creating a new life - whether you are creating on the rubble of an old life, or you are just ready to move to the next square on the board.

Taking Responsibility
OK, swallow hard now, this is the painful part.  Yes.  We all have to take on the fact that we live in our bodies, and that what we chose is what makes our life a heaven or a hell-hole.  Until we do, even if it's just saying, "I'm really the only one who can get me out of this mess", no change can begin.  As Debbie Ford used to say in our training, over and over again, "No one is coming to save you."  Ouch.

Surrender
This is a bit sucky too.  When you are very used to being the project manager of the universe, or at the very least queen in your own teacup, surrendering to the idea that you just don't know how to fix it is, well, let's just say, not fun.  Surrendering doesn't mean giving up, it just means giving way.  You have to get your own ideas out of the way in order for new ones to come in.  In my life, this often mean surrendering some idea of who I am, in order to get a glimpse of a bigger me.

Trust
We place our trust in many things, including the universe, our pets, our friends, and our lovers.  Maybe you trust that things will 'all work out for good' or some other spiritual principle.  Whatever you chose to trust is up to you, the one thing I know you can trust, always?  Your own inner guidance.  When that channel is clear it is never leading you astray. It might take you in a direction you don't like, but that's another matter!

Willingness
Oh, you have to be willing to change, to move, to be different, to let go of what you thought would be.  Willingness is the oil that greases all the wheels.  Willingness to try the new, to step when you can't see forward very far, and willingness to fail - help you take it all less personally. And that's a good thing.

For more on this topic listen to the radio show from January 15th with Lynne Klippel
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These months have been jammed with growth and leaps of faith.  No sooner did I toot my radio show's first year anniversary whistle, then I found myself saying Yes to starting a second show.   An act of fearlessness, for sure, since on Friday's show I speak with guests and it's all very fireside chat ... whereas Wednesday, the new show is just me.

                             Gulp.       It's an interesting thing, a leap of faith. 
Interesting, because of the both the 'faith' part, and the 'leap' part.  When you really, really decide to no longer consent to a life half lived, full of compromises, and stuff you don't want to do, then there is an immediate recognition that wherever that  that leads, the one thing it won't be is - familiar! Yet, still there's the shock of the leap. Must be like when you drop out of a plane on a skydive. (Minus the G-force that makes your face look all funny).  You know you decided to be there, and you want to be, but there's that split second of total terror.

Thinking about jumping out of a plane seems a lot tougher than opening my mouth live on air, but it's my leap and I jumped....  That in itself has given me a new perspective on the 'faith' part too.  I have to say, I've not so much 'faith' as a better attitude.  I realize that I simply accept that it could simply not work out, not be fun, or good, or interesting to others. For some reason, that doesn't bother or worry me. (though I'm aware of the idea that I could make all of those things devastating potential outcomes - ergo - reasons to shrink back from the ledge).    What most fascinates me is that I see all those scenarios as potentials and I am OK with them all. I mean what can I do?  All I can do is, as Anthony de Mello says, "show up and dance my dance". 

The thing about a leap, is you do end up in the unknown... and that could be a place of massive failure, but it could also be the most satisfying pit stop of my life. 

I just can't know unless I leap.

*

Oh,  the last newsy bit is that I wanted to try to find a way to display radio archives so they are searchable by keyword.  Just felt people might want to look up what's important to them by topic and find resources...please bear with me as I am still getting all the shows archived but again... Fingers crossed. x
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Club Fearless is a great place to find resources that will help you pack your bags and move out of that down in the dumps-victim mentality once and for all!

Here are some free audios from Steve Chandler, founder of the Club.

To learn more about Club Fearless go to www.clubfearless.net.  You can use my friend's discount (type in 'Elese' as the code) and try out the club for free for 30 days.  And by the way, I don't get paid for this, I just think it's really, really good.
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