Elese Coit

Have you noticed lately that lots of things we never thought could possibly happen, have happened?  Did you know bionic research is in the process of creating the 'Million Dollar Man'?  (OK, actually she's a woman and she has a bionic arm she can attach where her physical arm used to be.    See last months' National Geographic if you think I make this stuff up). More to the point, guess how you control a bionic arm? You use your mind.  Not the conscious mind, the one that takes effort - the other one, the one that just simply 'moves the arm'.

The mind truly amazing and too wonderful a thing to waste. I believe it is not confined to a brain, but just as we supposedly activate only a small portion of the brain,  we waste the true power of our mind every day.

What does this have to do with the limits of the impossible?  Basically, our minds have a lot of say over what we believe is possible.  Ever tried to outwit your own mind when it says - I can't?  Now when I suggest we waste the capacity of the mind, I'm not talking about creative day-dreaming.  I'm talking about going unconscious.  For example, you might go to exercise after a hard day, let's say, taking a long run in nature but as the body oxygenates, you use your mind to replay the stress of something that happened earlier, over and over again.  I'm talking about going for a massage and lying there thinking about all your faults and all the ways you hate your body.  That kind of thing.

How many times have you had a wonderful idea and then stomped it out with all the reasons why it is not possible? If dreams were socks, somewhere there are drawers and drawers full of all the lost socks waiting to be found again and paired up with their owners.

Although we may be more accustomed to choking off our dreams, by labeling them 'Impossible' the good news is that we can use the same imagination either to argue for our limitations, or to find creative ways to dance our way to our target.  What I'm saying is essentially, it's possible to change the film running in your head from today's matinee of fear and limitation to tomorrow's long running smash hit called your life.  And while I don't think that's accomplished by "positive thinking" alone, I do think our creative resources are easier to access from a mindset of openness rather than shut-down-ness.

Argue for your limitations and quite simply, you'll have them.  Unless you have a great friend (or a great coach) who will risk being honest enough to challenge you, I don't think many people will bother to take the opposite view.  In fact, most people are happy for you to keep your limitations and live happily ever after with your long list of These Are The Things That Are Quite Impossible For Me, Thank You Very Much.  Because they are doing exactly the same.

If this sounds horrid, it's because it is.

Challenging your 'Impossibles' is one of the most liberating experiences you can ever have.  I saw it in Michael Neill's "30 Days to Creating the Impossible" and I've talked about it plenty on the show.  Most recently with 'Who Says The Impossible is Impossible" (aired January 20, 2010)

To challenge your 'impossibles' I highly recommend keeping an eye out for Michael's next program.  Until then, here are some things you can do/read:

Gay Hendricks' book, The Big Leap
Get past your Upper Limit Syndrome, by expanding your tolerance for things going well in your life

Barbara Sher's books Wishcraft and I Could Do Anything, If Only I Knew What It Was  (I highly recommend her Twitter IdeaParties on Thursdays for getting past dream blockages!)

And you can:

• Create a powerful mantra that is true and makes you feel good (use it to replace the "I can't" dialogues you've got running).  "I am open to more good that I have ever experienced before" is a great one!
• Create a self-care routine that puts you in touch everyday with the well of good feeling in you
• Get a buddy or coach or guidance from a spiritual teacher to challenge your limiting beliefs and fears and let them go
• make room in your life for new ideas by mindfulness and openness practices - especially forgiveness - which is the best mental de-clutter I know of

If you know you have a dream and you want to start getting it out of the sock drawer, talk to me about my ProjectDream Mastermind group where you can learn to get creative, take action, enjoy the process and build something you've always wanted.  This is a small group of very focused people, so you'll need to talk to me to see if there's room and if it's right for you.  You can write me at  elese.coit@earthlink.net 

If I'm feeling stressed and pressed rather than blessed, it's a sign to look inside and see what's up. Tempting though it may be to think having lots to do is what creates my busy schedule, what is actually true is that I run my schedule and, even if I am rushing what is my excuse for not being mindful as I go?

I had the opportunity to talk to Bryan Douglas, who wrote "Doing Good Works!" on the show last Friday. He decided to test the idea that we Pay It Forward and decided to go out and help people. That seemed meaningful to me.  It made me want to look and see if my own giving had meaning in the way I hope or whether I'm mindlessly sending cards and buying presents and simply going through the motions.

I guess I had a feeling that there was a sense I might be going through the motions in some ways. In the newsletter last week I included some wonderful thoughts from Jonathan Ellerby, the author of "Return to the Sacred". One of the ideas he raised was that the holidays are a time which naturally give rise to 'spiritual reflection and celebration.'  If I'm not feeling that, maybe there's a reason? His words and the simple practices he suggests reminded me that putting the 'how'  into the holiday is not difficult to do - no matter how busy we are getting the last projects done, while packing, planning, wrapping and cooking.  He suggests practicing old-fashioned kindness toward others, saying yes only to what we can really commit to, and to remember to breathe (and while you take that walk in nature, to notice that the animals are not having difficulty making this holiday pleasant).

As I slow down, clear the calendar and consider what I really want to make time for, I realize that to have anything to give at all, I have just got to remain as connected to my own center as I can.  Anything less and I'm just flying around like a kyte off the string.  

I remind myself that I am committed to take care of myself and to notice when I'm off center. Thich Nhat Hanh is a wonderful teacher of mindfulness, (as well as a tremendous peace activist) and on the website for the Deer Park Monestary it says:

"Mindfulness is the energy of being aware and awake to the present moment. It is the continuous practice of touching life deeply in every moment of daily life. To be mindful is to be truly alive and present with those around you and with what you are doing. We bring our body and mind into harmony while we wash the dishes, drive the car or take our morning cup of tea."

Instead of becoming 'wrapped up' in doing, this an invitation for me to stop and take stock of who and how I am being.  And like Bryan probably felt when he just gave a stranger a lift for no other reason than to help out, that just feels good.

More on how giving to ourselves is our best holiday gift in my show with Jack Armstrong
More on the retreat events offered at Deer Park, including their holiday events can be found on www.deerparkmonastery.org/events